Sloop's Ice Deck

Finally an update!

2009-07-27T10:19:00.001-07:00

And it's not even a real blog, just an embedded video of my band playing our version of David Bowie's "Space Oddity". Enjoy!

Spring Tour Blog

2009-04-21T18:34:00.000-07:00

Here's a brief summary of the Robley tour thus far:

Things are going pretty well, I'm able to keep current on my workload, which was one of my big concerns. The Sprinter van is pretty awesome - very spacious & the built-in wifi is a godsend. It was a bit of a problem finding parking in San Francisco, but we eventually found some street parking.

Yesterday, we went to the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum in San Jose. It was creepy and awesome and certain items in the gift store were available only to members of the mysterious order itself. We then saw a fairly shoddy slide show with narration in the planetarium that felt like an indoctrination video, but ending up being some vaguely edutainment about an old Greek cult who like astronomical whatnot.

Right now, the 6 of us bandmembers are in our hotel room in Merced watching Seinfeld. We were here last night & did laundry today, playing a show tonight, then driving the 6-8 hours down to San Diego tomorrow afternoon. We've passed a lot of time & gotten excercise by playing catch with a little inflatable rubber ball we bought at a drug store. Anyway, things are good & we're having fun. I had a video chat with Marisa & Simon earlier today & it was nice to see them & talk to them, though obviously not like being there in person.

New Simon videos

2009-02-14T14:31:00.000-08:00

As you can see, he's getting bigger, smarter, and more talented every day.

Everybody get ready to get ready to rock!

2009-01-31T15:55:00.000-08:00

"They undoubtedly have great potential, purely based on the band lineup. In addition to [Grammy-nominated guitarist] Kevin, who was a founding member of national act Smalltown Poets, they’ve got Henry Curl of Jonah belting out the vocals, along with Benjy Rickard and Peter Swenson, both formerly of Boy Eats Drum Machine." - Pet Marmoset

Yes, Kevin really was nominated for Grammy, and I'm in a band with him.

That band (Hello Morning) will be working hard and playing hard tonight at the Ash St. Saloon in beautiful downtown Portland tonight. If you live in LA or Santa Monica, be sure to fly up for this one.

If you live in Seattle, you should really consider flying to LA, then catching a ride with one of my friends down there who's coming up for this show.

We may not be up for any Grammys this year, but if we play our cards right, maybe a Portland Music Award is in doable?

Also, there will be a free show next month at the Doug Fir that will be an extravaganza of new sights and sounds for us, but if you want to catch us before we hit the big time, come on out tonight. It'll be fun.

We play tonight at 9:30 and it's only $6.

By the way, Hello Morning is also on Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, Reverb Nation, and Myspace, so you really can't miss us if you have internet.

Me! and some friends! Live in the studio with Chris Robley & the Fear of Heights.

2008-12-29T12:17:00.000-08:00

Chris Robley - Faulkner's South - Luxury Wafers Sessions from Luxury Wafers on Vimeo.

Read about the whole thing and get some mp3s of that session here.

I think God has Portland confused with Vermont

2008-12-22T12:19:00.000-08:00

We thought the snow was bad yesterday:

But look what arrived last night and this morning:

Good lord. I'm so cold and hungry. Not thirsty, thanks to plenty of beer & liquor from the Christmas party. But staying drunk for 3 days in a row is hard, you know?

My boy dances!

2008-12-07T22:18:00.001-08:00

New Simon video montage

2008-12-07T21:50:00.000-08:00

With a surprise twist ending!

Rock for Christmastime

2008-12-03T18:28:00.000-08:00

Well, it's not really for Christmas as much as it is just coinciding with the Christmas season. Coupla things:

1) I'll be playing drums & percussion alongside John Stewart for Chris Robley & The Fear of Heights CD release show at Someday Lounge this Friday night. It will be a rocking good time, because sometimes 1 drumset just isn't enough. The other bands are Tango Alpha Tango (featuring 2 of the dudes formerly of The Carolines) and James Low.

2) My band Hello Morning just finished a rough mix of the first song from our recent round of demo recording. You can listen to it and be our myspace friend here.

3) Hello Morning will be playing a rocking house show in North Portland on Monday the 8th, and a totally rocktastic set on Saturday the 13th at the Ash St. Saloon. That day happens to be my birthday, after which I can say I'm in my early 30s, not just 30. My Amazon wish list is on top of the links on the right. Show details can be found here or here.

A look inside the mind of a crazy person

2008-11-17T11:06:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure this is the song (and video) that plays in the head of the Zodiac Killer, Mark David Chapman, Charles Manson, and anyone like that. The first chimney sweep you see looks ready to cook and eat the children. Enjoy the maniacally haunting sights and sounds:

Tour Blog #2

2008-11-13T09:54:00.000-08:00

Tour updates: Saturday night show in Merced, Sunday show in San Diego. I then spent the next 2 days with my old friend Lonny and his family, which includes 3 hilarious daughters, ages 6, 3.75, and 1.5. We went to Disneyland on Monday, and by "we" I mean Lonny and I, not the kids, which might seem a little mean, but I don't think they would have liked the rides we wanted to go on, like the teacups and the flying Dumbo ride, and Toon Town. I mean, kids don't like those things, do they? And the Tiki room was pretty intense.

Tuesday night we played a dive in LA called the Silverlake Lounge. The sound was pretty good, the crowd was small but appreciative, and afterword, I had burritos with Lonny and his brother, who lives in LA. Yesterday we did a "live in the studio" recording/performance dealy for a website. The dude who recorded us did an album with Norah Jones singing for him and has apparently played with some other quite famous folks. He was super nice and it was a fun time. Last night, I went to a diner with Feaver, whom I haven't seen in 2 years, but since we chat all the time, it wasn't like, "OMG! You're so different now! LOL!". Instead, it was more like, "PWNED!".

Today, we leave the amazing house we've been staying at (and it is amazing), and drive up to Fresno, to play at some sort of Japanese restaurant/rock venue.

CRATFOH Tour Blog

2008-11-08T09:30:00.000-08:00

As I'm on tour, filling the drum chair for John Stewart, playing with Chris Robley and the Fear of Heights, I thought it might be nice to do a little tour blog. This is my half of a [slightly edited] chat with Benjy, which I thought might serve double duty as both a chat and a blog. Here are the dirty details of life in a rock band on the road:

me: are you there now? I had to restart my lappy.

me: ok cool. Touring is fine, It's only been one LONG day and one night. We're at a house in Molesto now. It was like an 11 hour drive down yesterday, but the van is really spacious and comfortable, it's a 13 seater.

me: nah he rented it for the tour. It's not too bad for a 12 day thing.

me: yep, to a very receptive crowd at a little cafe/bar all ages places on the main drag in downtown Modesto, home of George Lucas.

me: we crashed at the soundman's house, as he's a friend of Chris'. It's a huge McMansion in what used to be the rich part of Modesto. But the lappy thing does work on the road, too. I got that ATT USB Mercury thing and worked in the van for a good 2 hours yesterday.

me: yeah, so far so good. we only have 1 hour to drive today, so it's basically a day off, so that's nice. Tomorrow it's ~5 hours down to San Diego, but then I'm going to stay with my friend Lonny for 2 days.

me: I haven't seen him since he was in Portland a year ago... He came to our last Towne Lounge show.

me: Yeah, the 3 of us hope to get together on Wednesday.

me: no that was Ben K., my old next door neighbor. I went to grade school with Lonny and worked at TCBC with him and Feaver.

me: yep. i hope it works out. Anyway, 2 days off with Lonny will be fun... Maybe we'll go to Disneyland, I dunno.

me: oh Lord. yeah. dang.

me: well, i don't even know if I'll go. It could be too much of a wear out.

me: cool. i'm hoping it's all decorated for Xmas, like the Haunted Mansion is all Nightmare before Xmasy.

me: yeah, it's like, if you stay for 12 hours, you really get your money's worth.

me: haha. yeah, totally. i guess on Robley's last tour it was like LA, Vegas, San Francisco, etc. a whole buncha 10 hour drives, so he knew that was no good.
oh wait, there's also a San Diego show between Merced and LA. So, 7 shows, plus a day of busking.

me: aha ok. i'm starving.

me: sweet! that's probably more than I'll make on the whole tour.

me: he promised he would, he's just still asleep.

me: haha. My brother gave me $100 as a gift for the tour, so i can spend that on the tour.

me: yeah, i think so. he's a nice guy. anyway, i'll let you go setup your bass.

me: ciao!

Well, that's my tour update. I hope to find time to do more later.

West Coast Tour!

2008-11-06T20:23:00.000-08:00

Guess who's coming to a town near you? Provided you live in Modesto, Merced, San Diego, LA, or Sacramento, the answer is: ME.

I'll be pleasantly playing drums with Chris Robley and The Fear of Heights.

Please come say hi.

I'll be working from the road with my lappy and maybe doing some sort of tour blog, if there's time and desire for such a thing.

I leave first thing in the morning.

Adios!

Halloween Podcast is Up!

2008-10-31T14:19:00.000-07:00

Lavalier podcast episode 005

Erik was in the basement for a few weeks, so we have a SPECIAL GUEST CO-HOST! Benjy Rickard wipes the mic down for this episode.

Pretty much we talk about Halloween.

The bumper music features these fine Portland artists...
Gifty, Welsh Rabbit, The Beauty, & A Blinding Silence

SUBSCRIBE IN iTUNES...

It is a very easy process to download, don't get scared...

1. open iTunes
2. go up to the "Advanced" menu
3. pull down to "subscribe to podcast..."
4. cut/paste the text below into the box...

http://www.lavalier.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

5. Click "OK".

You are subscribed! Copy to your iDevice of choice.

If you have already subscribed, iTunes should download 005 automatically the next time you start up.

iTUNES STORE UPDATE:

You will be able to download direct (and still free) from iTunes store SOON; we just have to go through the application process first (and create a better logo, too.)

TO DIRECT DOWNLOAD:

Get it here...
http://media.libsyn.com/media/erikstanfill/lavalier_podcast_episode_005.m4a

---

Send us feedback, legal mp3s, and anything from rimsky-korsakoffeehouse...
lavalierpodcast at gmail.com

A Real Website for my podcast

2008-10-24T11:02:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's a picture of Simon, on his throne of toilet paper, during our trip to Costco the other night. Of course, with all those truffles and beer, we'll need huge amounts of toilet paper.

Anyway, the headline and the story. Just go click on this and you'll see the website in its infancy. Coming soon will be an official logo, crap loads of links, etc. But for now, you can go there and stuff.

In other news, I had fun playing with Chris Robley & his marvelous band The Fear of Heights at Holocene last night. It was my first Portland rock show since last January's disastrous finale for ye olde band. But that, I believe, is water under the bridge.

I'll be on tour with Chris Robley and the Fear of Heights (CRATFOH) for 11 days in November, going to San Diego and back. Should be fun, and I hope to visit 2 of my best buddies (Feaverish and LoHarp) while I'm down there.

Hard at work

2008-09-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

This is what I look like, every day, on the job, more or less. Sadly, this photo is more interesting than half of the music I listen to for my job.

Going camping on Saturday should be fun. I haven't slept out of doors in probably 3 years, I think.

Hot Portland Podcast Action!

2008-09-15T09:47:00.000-07:00

So, my friend Erik (Lavalier) agreed to let me sit in with him to start co-hosting his podcast, Lavalier. I think next time I may drink a latte instead of a beer and cocktail when we record, just to take it up a notch on the excitement meter.

I believe Erik put it best when he wrote:

We made it to the second episode! Now with 2x the hosting power... Peter Swenson pulls up a mic, and will be co-hosting from now on.

***EXPLICIT WARNING***

I forgot to bleep Peter's potty mouth so be forewarned about upcoming crassness. Put the kids to bed, folks! We are covering: stolen radio towers, movies from the 70s, serving coffee in bikinis, the best damn bridges in Portland, and all things non-sequitur.

The bumper music features these fine Portland artists...
The Morals, Dirty Mittens, Justin Bennett, Drats!!!, & Transient
Thanks for submitting! Clicky clicky to get all myspacey with them.

LISTEN IN ITUNES...

To subscribe via itunes, open itunes, go to the "advanced" menu, pull down to "subscribe to podcast..." cut/paste this URL...

http://www.lavalier.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

you are subscribed!

If you have already subscribed, itunes should download 002 automatically the next time you start up

Send us feedback, legal mp3s, and anything from saint cupcake...
lavalierpodcast@gmail.com

Weeping hippies are funny

2008-09-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

http://view.break.com/567077 - Watch more free videos

Your revolution is over. Condolences. The bums lost. My advice is to do what your parents did; get a job, sir. The bums will always lose. Do you hear me?

Thanks to Rick Emerson for reminding me of this.

2008-09-09T14:34:00.000-07:00

I didn't write this, but wish I did.

I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth; banks are going bust; shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter; punks are running wild in the street, and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it.

We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat. And we sit watching our TVs while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be!

We all know things are bad -- worse than bad -- they're crazy.

It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out any more. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we're living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, "Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials, and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone."

Well, I'm not going to leave you alone.

I want you to get mad!

I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot. I don't want you to write to your Congressman, because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street.

All I know is that first, you've got to get mad.

You've gotta say, "I'm a human being, goddammit! My life has value!"

So, I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out and yell,

"I'm as mad as hell,

and I'm not going to take this anymore!!"

Now go watch the movie Network, for a little context. Amazing how relevant it is today, 3 decades later.

A little help

2008-09-05T14:33:00.000-07:00

I'm just looking for a particular Bible verse. I think they're teaching it in schools and/or churches around the country. It's the one where Jesus said, "Protect thine own wealth, detest the poor and suspect anyone different than thine own self. Also, monger ye some wars, lest there be too many people in heaven."

My Tiny Mouse

2008-08-05T12:44:00.000-07:00

You won't believe how small my new mouse is.

The packaging tricked me into thinking it was a normal sized mouse, but it's actually smaller than a credit card.

It's kind of cute though. Like the little mouse who could.

A little update!

2008-07-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

Hello blog.

I've added my Twitter updates on the upstairs of this page.

Also, my recommended albums (available for purchase) over on the right, in my links section.

I'm doing well. Got that "promotion", which isn't so much of a pay raise, as much as it is a huge upgrade in the flexibility of hours and the amount I'll likely enjoy the new position.

The new job involves listening to cds and writing about some of them.

Also, The Dark Knight is awesome.

That's all I have time for now.

Perhaps I'll change the picture up top, too.

I'm not dead!

2008-06-16T17:49:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody. I am fully aware that I've neglected the crap out of this blog. But don't take it personally. I've virtually ignored all but the most important websites altogether. The reason being that my new job actually gives me stuff to do, so I don't quite have the time to devote to the old (arbitrarily named) Ice Deck. I hope to blog more soon. For now I will just say that I love my job and heard a nasty rumor that I'm getting a promotion (or maybe just moved to a more desirable position) tomorrow.

Stuff and Stuff

2008-05-12T14:14:00.000-07:00

I think I've got proof that Simon is the cutest boy ever. That's him giving Curious George a big hug.

Moving on, this Friday I'll be singing:

That's right; I'm leaving the office job I've been at for about 8 years. I've had periods of full-time and periods of part-time work here. I had about 8 months off when Moz and I moved to Seattle and back in 2001. And of course my short-lived career as a full-time professional drummer/instructor. And my even shorter career at Torrefazione Italia, over by Lloyd Center, under the management of an Italian bastard. Seriously, he was physically and verbally abusive to his staff. He was fired immediately upon Starbucks acquisition of the company. Besides those stints, I've been at this job since the week after I got married, May 5, 2000. So now I'm leaving.

I don't really want to talk about my future employment plans here, but I am really looking forward to it. Of course, I can sort of picture myself, 4 years from now, reading this post as an archive and thinking, "You fool! You have no idea what horrible workplace atrocities you're about to encounter!". But for now, I'm excited about the future.

Jesus walks! ...as does Simon

2008-05-09T13:53:00.000-07:00

That's right. My boy, after months of stumbling and crawling and taking one or two steps at a time, has finally reached another milestone. Yesterday, he took seven steps towards the remote control I was holding. I told him how proud I was of him and what a strong and smart boy he is. Shortly thereafter, he walked across the entire kitchen; probably 20 or more steps. I consider that walking. He's not totally fluent in it yet, but I'd say he can do casual walking now. I'm so proud of him and can't help but give him rave reviews on this, the only public forum I have. Also, he's getting really good at strumming the guitar. And standing on it.

Lithp

2008-05-05T11:50:00.000-07:00

Why, oh why, do so many NPR commentators have lisps? I mean, I like "This American Life" and the dry, droll insights into ordinary life, pop culture and white people, but it seems that many of them have a gentle (or harsh) lisp. I'm just saying.

Look over there. That’s my son. You see? See? You see him? You don’t tell me how to raise my family.

2008-04-18T14:57:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been honestly surprised at how much I can't wait to get off work to go spend time with Simon. Not that I ever didn't want to spend time with him, but the past few days, he's taken his playfulness to a whole new level. He's started eating bean burritos, and working on saying the word "beans". He's also gotten pretty good at saying "Lola", as Moz wrote about the other day. Plus, you've got to admire his approach to new challenges:

He puts his hands around it and tells it who's boss. I believe it's the same approach taken by Al Pacino in Godfather II, before giving Fredo the kiss of death and I think by The Joker in the 1989's Batman, telling someone "You are my number one guy!", only in a very creepy, insane Bugs Bunny way. It's a way of living that I find admirable and highly deserving of mimicry, in many walks of life. When someone questions your judgment, put both hands around their face, and then while they're transfixed by your gaze, either a) stare them down, b) questioningly lick their face, or c) knee them in that special spot. It'll get the job done.

Crap pile, or, How life is.

2008-04-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

As we blindly try to climb our way out of the seemingly endless pile of guano into which we are born, we sometimes see some light at the top of the cave, and a little joy comes into our life, and if we can just get over this next mound, we'd get a breath of fresh air, and maybe get out of the crap heap. But then, a hundred thousand metaphorical bats show up and dump a ton of steaming dook on you. Like when your new car breaks down and it costs more to fix it than you paid for your last 2 cars combined. And then you start trying to climb again, with your head down, hoping to not get dumped on again. But you know it's coming. What form it's coming in, exactly, you don't know. But the crap will dump on you for the rest of your life, and it never stops.

Wow, that's a downer of a paragraph. I try not to keep this mindset, but sometimes, life sure feels like this. Today, I'm fretting over a phone call. If it goes one way, I'll be giddy. If it goes the other way, I'll start thinking about the mile high pile of guano again.

Lousy Smarch Weather

2008-03-27T08:41:00.001-07:00

Shortly after Simon's birthday party, he discovered the joy of biting balloons, so Moz and I found it helpful to take a few pictures. Also, two days ago, he learned how to climb up onto the couch by himself. He's a big boy. We also got him a cheap "Eddie Bauer" brand car seat which sucks horribly and jiggles a lot over every intersection or ant in the road. So, after a week of driving with that, we decided that something a little more stable (preferably a lot more stable) was needed. I went to get a Britax "Latte" model car seat. It's wonderfully secure, and much heavier and simpler to use. Naturally, it cost about 3x what the Eddie Bauer car seat cost, but totally worth the money.

Driving home across the Marquam bridge every day, as I do, I couldn't help but notice that a large stretch of the waterfront was getting bug-bombed. But then I realized it was no bug-bomb. It was the circus. Not the good zebras-and-bears circus, but the French-Canadians-looking-for-errant-rainbows circus. I should add that I hate Cirque du Soleil. I'm sure that it takes a lot of strength and dexterity to perform whatever muscular atrocities they do, but it's not for me. I don't mind if you like it; I used to work with a fellow who bought their soundtrack cds and dvds, and I gave him a very small amount of harassment for doing so. (Fare thee well, Graham, wherever thou might tread) What I hate about Cirque du Soleil is that it's intensely whimsical and people will pay $75 for a ticket to the spectacle. I've had someone tell me that "it's like watching a work of art", to which I say, "No, it's actually watching grown men in glow-in-the-dark Spandex body suits climb all over each other to the sounds of Zamfir and Yanni. They have websites for people who want to watch that, in the dark corners of the internet."

The Aughties

2008-03-15T12:13:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else in futureshock besides me? I just realized that I'm not really comfortable with the fact that we have to call this year "2008". I'm no Luddite; I mean, I embrace technology and science and all that. But I still have a hard time saying "oh, such-and-such, yeah, they were big in the 90's." Then I realize that most of the 90's took place over a decade ago. Plus, it seems that we have yet to agree on a name for this decade. I like to call it "The Aughties", but it hasn't caught on. Finally, it struck me this week that I vividly recall the "Mondale/Ferraro" ticket from the 80's, and how weird it is that that was 24 years ago. How many forgotten presidential bids are stuck in my brain somewhere? I remember Jesse Jackson did a parade down the street near my grade school during his campaign and how somebody (mom, dad, a friend?) told me that he wanted to make America like Communist Russia. So I was scared out of my mind when Reverend Jackson and his supporters paraded down NE Alberta way back when.

It was one year ago today

2008-03-11T09:13:00.000-07:00

Well, it was one year ago today that Simon emerged from hiding, saw his shadow, but decided to stay out and keep us company anyway. It's pretty amazing to think about how much he's grown and changed in his first year.

If you were look at me and my knowledge and abilities of a year ago, then look at me today, I'm basically the same person. I look about the same; I don't think I've learned any new skills whatsoever. I offer the world pretty much the everything I could have offered it a year ago.

But take a look at Simon. A year ago, moments after he was born, my first impression was that he was like a pile of noodles. Granted, he was a pile of noodles that I would gladly stop a bullet for, but he was just all limp and floppy and needed someone else to do everything for him.

Amazingly (although I know this is how it normally happens), he has learned to crawl, walk (with a little help), and take food from the plate into his own mouth to eat. He will call out "Mama", "Dada", "Lolololo" (an approximation of the name of our dog (Lola), "Up", and "Hi". Plus, he loves to listen to music and dance, read through books with us, and carry around an old picture he found of his mother & I. He's got
tons of personality and every day I'm amazed at how much he's grown, how much he will grow, and how much I love him today.

For his first birthday, I'm kind of glad he won't remember it, because I'd hate for him to know that Mommy & Daddy can't really afford much this year. I'm sure it's just a temporary lull in our checking account, but for the past three weeks, we've had to pinch pennies in a way we've never had to before. Not to get too weepy, but we actually had to cash in the penny jar the other day, and it actually made a huge difference to us. So, we won't be going to Sasquatch this year. Nor any other thing which costs money. At least in the foreseeable future. Moz has a new job on the horizon, so pretty soon we'll be back to our life of Riley lifestyle. But today, I'm eating frozen chicken wings and President's Choice Cola for lunch.

The photos at the top of the post were taken about 364 days apart. And since I love looking at my boy, I'll post one more, from about 11 months ago:

He also shaves

2008-02-28T11:01:00.001-08:00

Whose line is it anyway?

2008-02-27T11:05:00.000-08:00

I just returned from my work's local Starbucks. When I walked in the doors, I couldn't believe what was going on. I thought I was in a carnival hall-of-mirrors fun house or something, because everything was so disproportionate. Specifically, the line was all wrong. I was the fourth person in line, yet I was approximately 20 feet from the counter, standing in the doorway. You see, every person found it necessary to stand about 4 to 5 feet behind the person in front of them. I tried to fix the problem by glaring at the people ahead of me in line, to no avail. I looked around the cafe, to see if anyone else noticed how bizarre the line was, and it looked like one person smirking while watching us.

I took the above picture after waiting for about a minute, and people had started shuffling around a bit, so it doesn't quite convey the absurdity of the spatial relations. I'm all for personal space, believe me, but if someone were to tell me that "the line was out the door", I'd expect more than 4 freaking people in line. Maybe everybody in line ahead of me should be wearing glasses, but wasn't, so they had no depth perception. Or better yet, maybe they were all really cyclops' and just faking like they had 2 eyes, so they couldn't see that the person in front of them was WAY in front of them. That's what I'm going with.

Before and After

2008-02-27T10:52:00.001-08:00

The photo on the left is from about 10 weeks ago. The photo on the right is from a few days ago. Just charting Simon's progress in relation to the island in the kitchen, on the shelf of which he now loves to climb. He's probably 23 pounds and just a couple weeks shy of his first birthday. He's a pure joy to be around, plus he's now learning to join in when we chide Lola (the dog) for being bad. He makes an angry face and talks gibberish, very sternly, to her.

I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man.

2008-02-22T11:10:00.000-08:00

The Sad Truth

2008-02-21T09:58:00.000-08:00

The Rat-filled Race

2008-02-21T09:24:00.000-08:00

Some of you may have noticed that I've been posting a lot more lately. This is explained by 2 factors: 1) A few months ago, I started working full-time (again) in the office job I've been at (off and on) for so many years, and 2)on most days, my job is infinitely boring, plus there's a lot of down time, so I usually have time to read the internet cover to cover, and make my own contribution to it. In fact, startling statistics have just been announced, revealing the relationship of office boredom and coffee consumption:

Lazy post?

2008-02-20T11:13:00.000-08:00

First off: after this morning's donut, I decided I should go back to low-carbing it, at least for a while. So now I'm enjoying some peppery beef jerky.

Moving on: every once in a while, I find it interesting to take a peek at which text searches bring people to this blog. Here are some of those searches:

"Pine State Biscuits"
"did elvis do any commercials/endorsements"
"snake with arms"
"never seen things"
"tips for spicing up your love life"
"menomena under an hour blogspot" (in Spanish!)
...and the winner is:
"most amazing blog ever" (Yes, congratulations on finding it. It's right here; you're reading it.)

Mexican Food, Biscuits, and Fugazi, of course

2008-02-19T08:26:00.001-08:00

Has anyone visited that new Mexican place by Bipartisan Cafe & The Academy Theater? I think it's called Rojo's Latin Quarter or maybe Romo's or something. I remember the font on the sign more than the words comprised in the font. It was a bad font. Not papyrus, but something else distractingly bad, for sure.

On a similar note, when will the Pine State Biscuits restaurant open? Moz and I used to get their sandwiches at the PSU farmer's market, but I think that market is closed for the winter. Their restaurant is supposed to open this winter, so since there's only a few weeks left, I'm guessing it's soon. Then again, if I go back to a low-carb dealy, then biscuits will be (again) strictly for the birds. Literally. And figuratively.

Finally, I have to silently curse something (God? The Devil? U2? Myself?) for not "discovering" Fugazi until after I turned 30. WTF self? Why are you so nonsensical sometimes?

Another Simon video

2008-02-19T07:02:00.000-08:00

A different video. Maybe this one will work. This is from about a month ago and accurately portrays an average evening in our house. Seriously. It's just constant crawling and laughing.

A few links and such

2008-02-18T09:33:00.000-08:00

Some website called Spinner has put together a list (lists: America's 2nd biggest industry!) of the 25 best band logos. A fairly interesting read.

Also, I came across a "Letter to America" which (according to Snopes) is falsely rumored to be written by John Cleese. It's pretty hilarious and I think it makes some really strong arguments as to why we should have our independence revoked. Read it here.

And, heads up Maurice Sendak fans! Is this test footage from the forthcoming (in 2009!) Where the Wild Things Are? Looks like. It sounds like maybe Sean Penn is the voice of the monster.

Finally, as you may (or may not) see in the previous post, I put a video on youtube. It's a simple video, just my wife and baby playing around. However, after loading it (twice!) onto youtube, I can't get it to show up on the blog here for more than a day at a time. And when I log into my youtube account, it shows that I haven't uploaded a single video. Maybe I'm dense (this blog is subtitled "Computer-dumb, book-smart" for a reason) but I just can't figure the dern thing out. Any hints, webnerds?

Update: Moments before writing this blog, the below video said "We're sorry, this video is no longer available". But now it looks like it is available.

Update 2: It's only playing on my computer, not my coworker's. What the what?!

Family Video

2008-02-15T17:39:00.001-08:00

Sand in your what? also, that was the 90s

2008-02-15T11:51:00.000-08:00

1. There is almost nothing worse than trying to eat a bite of week old birthday cake only to find yourself crunching into a mouthful of half cake, half sand. Trust me on this one.

2. Is it ironic or just stupid that when using the Netflix online movie viewer, and you try to skip ahead 1 minute, it takes 3 minutes to load? And why is said viewer only accessible through Internet Explorer? Does anybody even use IE anymore? What is this, the Clinton Administration? Is everyone getting psyched for Nancy Kerrigan's appearance at the Olympics? Is My So-Called Life starting to gain some attention? Are the Spice Girls yet to make a movie? I think I've made my point.

3. And now, here is the modern dance interpretation of Internet Explorer:

Happy V.D. Day

2008-02-14T12:51:00.000-08:00

Here's an original poem you can feel free to use, instead of that mass-marketed Hallmark crap:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
What I like about you most is
You don't smell like poo
Very often

I think Kazugoogoo will agree with me when I say "Thank god that cop last night didn't ticket me". But the surprisingly not-rude cop did alert me to some tail-light problems on ye olde horseless carriage.

And now, today's vitriol: I wish I had a bouquet of dead roses to send across the street to the numbskulls at Jiffy Lube, who, after spending nearly an hour tinkering on my car, managed to leave my occasionally working tail-lights in worse condition than before they got their barely functional brains to working on them. Seriously, the guy asked if my name was spelled "P-E-T-T-E-R". My second clue, alerting me of their incompetence was the big sign on the door of their lobby which read "Help wanted. No auto experience required."

I think therefore iPhone, or, A pretty hilarious week.

2008-02-13T14:45:00.000-08:00

Last weekend Marisa had her 30th birthday, so I celebrated by buying myself an iPhone. Wait, let me back up. It seems that the Flying Waitress decided to give an iPhone to Marisa. So, whether it was mercy or pity, or perhaps even a sense of justice or fairness, my wife let me buy an iPhone for myself. This was a pretty fun and unexpected turn of events for the weekend, but I was mostly happy that Marisa had a good birthday. Between the shmancy dinner on Friday, and then the snow tubing and little party with some friends on Saturday, I think we had a pretty fun and memorable time. Then my ma had a birthday on Monday, so we went to Ya Hala for some hummous, grape leaves, et al. So, two birthdays, two iPhones, and bunches of cake and ice cream have occupied much of my time for the past week. That's about it. Nothing too hilarious, I'm afraid.

Oh, wait, did I forget to mention the clowns that showed up and threw banana creme pies in everyone's faces? And, uh, then I, uh, slipped on some banana peels at the top of a staircase, then I fell onto some rollerskates and skated down the stairs and landed backwards on a horse, which galloped around town and finally bucked me off into a pile of cow poo. Yeah. A pretty hilarious week, actually.

It actually was a dark and stormy night

2008-01-30T10:56:00.000-08:00

Last Christmas, I was given some $100 in pre-paid American Express cards, and I've been debating for the past 6 weeks about what to do with them. I finally decided on some drum accessories that I found online, but didn't want to wait for them to ship, since I am hasty in most matters. So, I checked my favorite music shoppe (Trade Up), found they didn't have it. I would have gone to my second favorite (Portland Music), which I actually don't really like, since the service is abysmal, but they are fairly conveniently located. However, they close too early for me.

My last resort was the strip-mall chain store Guitar Center. This place is basically the Walmart of music stores. They're a huge chain, so they have decent prices, late hours, and generally apathetic, ill-informed sales staff. Plus, they pretty much always blast the most terrible music you can imagine, throughout the store. Like, screaming, pounding metal. It's really awful. So that's what I had to look forward to, while driving with little Simon out there, through the snow on the 205. The thing about strip malls in the suburbs is that, despite being monstrosities and eyesores, they can be darn tricky to find.

I found myself driving, a little panicky, with Simon griping at me from the backseat, through the snow. Very few streetlights can be found on the roads around the store I was trying to find. I drove around for a while, unsuccessfully searching, entering 3 different darkened parking lots, hoping they'd be the right one.

I finally gave up and decided to head home. But after driving for 1/2 mile back where I thought I came from, I couldn't find the freeway, and instead got stuck on some long winding road with a barrier between lanes and no turnoffs for a U-turn. At this point, I called Mo and asked her to luck up the store online. She told me the address right as I arrived at an actual intersection, with lights and everything (!). It was a pretty glorious moment, and I didn't feel so far removed from civilization, as the lights and the correct address and my car turning all arrived at the same time.

So, I finally found the store, although the windows were all blacked out, so I wasn't sure they were open. Luckily, some emo-teens were making out on the walkway, in front of the store. I wonder if that's what GC uses instead of "Open" signs now... Anyway, they were blasting some awful nu-metal. Unsurprisingly, they didn't have the items I wanted, but said they could special order them for me. Maybe I look like a guy that's never used an internet, because I could really easily order this stuff myself. We left the story, racing to get away from the Puddle of Filth or Staingled Devil Horns, or whatever it was assaulting our ears. As we were walking through the store, I promised Simon under my breath that we'd never hear music that bad at our house.

Song of the moment: How Could Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel?

It is freezing cold outside, but...

2008-01-24T13:52:00.000-08:00

Every Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. Seriously.

2008-01-22T13:12:00.000-08:00

I'm on a vacation... from my problems!

2008-01-21T14:02:00.000-08:00

So what are the good things I can focus on? Well, new musical ventures are underway and that's good. Further details will be made known as these stories develop. Also, I spent a good morning with my friend Luke and his wife, who live in Salem. It was good to spend some time with the man who, when Simon was still a young fetus, bought Simon the Complete Chronicles of Narnia, in a single gigantic hardback volume. There's also further exciting talk of selling La Casa del Sloop y Moz and moving to a different zip code. I'm all for it. I'm tired of my idiot white trash neighbors yelling at my friends for parking in front of their crappy house. There's also rampant speculation that we may rent an RV and take a road trip this summer. One word describes this: totally awesome.

Just to avoid confusion

2008-01-16T10:41:00.000-08:00

My marriage is still intact. The "bomb" that dropped was my and Kazugoogoo's unceremonious firing from our band, which we've been playing with for over 2 years. On the brighter side of things, there's already a couple new musical projects in the works.

What can I say?

2008-01-11T08:17:00.000-08:00

Since the bomb was dropped a week and a half ago, I've been going through a mix of emotions, sometimes separately, sometimes all at once. Anger, frustration, betrayal, sadness, relief, brief moments of happiness, resignation. This is not an easy cocktail of feelings to reckon with and reconcile with each other. And while I know I should look forward to sunnier days, it's hard to see past the murky present.

Music in Aught Eight

2008-01-03T08:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, there's a lot to talk about, but not now. For now, let's put the iPod (currently holding 3851 songs) on random and see what turns up:

1. Vendiendo Alegria by Wayne Shorter. I've been trying to expand my musical taste lately, so I've copied a number of albums from genres that I don't normally listen to much. This (Alegria) is nice jazz album, featuring the exquisite drumming of Brian Blade. He's a pure joy to watch (and listen to). Anyway, this song is very nice, not too crazy, mellow jazz with sax, trumpet, piano, bass and drums. This song is perfect for a foggy morning like this one.

2. Secret Beach by Metheny Mehldau. Another jazz number, kind of a bossanova tune. I got this album (Quartet) for several reasons: a) Brad Mehldau is fond of doing nice cover tunes and is a great pianist, and b) Jeff Ballard occupies the drum throne on this album. I saw Mr. Ballard on OPB not too long ago and was blown away. Also, c) my dad's a fan of (jazz guitarist) Pat Metheny, so I knew there would be some interesting work there. The guitar solo at about 6:30 gets a little cheezy in it's tone, but that's Metheny. Also, a 9 minute song can be a bit much for some listeners, so consider this a warning.

3. Treasure by U2. An old non-album track. Upbeat, with off-key vocals from Bongo.

4. Expecting to Fly by Buffalo Springfield. A gorgeous song. I normally have a fairly low tolerance for Neil Young, but this one gets 5 stars, indubitably. Not quite sure what it's about. Jack Nitzsche produced it.

5. At last I am Born by Morrissey. New Morrissey rocks with baritone guitars. Also, dig the children's choir. "It's remarkable what you can learn once you are born." Sweet.

6. Tulsa by Rufus Wainwright. Fine chamber pop from a decent album (Release the Stars) by a great artist.

7. Strawberry Fields Forever by The Beatles (from the album "Love"). Did anyone else have to fight the urge to delete this album, after learning it was associated with Cirque Du Soleil? I'm glad I didn't delete it, as the remastering sounds great, but can't say I listen to it much.

8. Head On by The Jesus & Mary Chain. This is one of the first songs I remember seeing a music video for (I was 11). I knew it was cool and that my friend Mark's older brother probably knew who it was. He did & I was hooked. I remember biking to the mall to buy this tape (Automatic) and then listening to it over and over.

9. God by Smashing Pumpkins. From the single for Zero, which my mom bought me at Fred Meyer, after school on the last day of my senior year of high school. This song rocks pretty hard with plenty of screaming, wild drumming, and appropriately pissed-off lyrics.

10. Resolve by Beth Gibbons & Rustin Man. I love Portishead, but this album is a gi... Oh crap I just fell asleep while typing. That's how boring thizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...... Dang, there I go again.

2007: The Year in Review

2007-12-31T09:20:00.000-08:00

First off, this was a top contender for Best Christmas Ever. Not that it wasn't stressful and busy, but seriously, what could make a better Christmas than Simon riding a li'l firetruck, with his favorite monkey riding shotgun? Not much, that's what. Thanks again to Teresa and Jacquie.

As far as the rest of the year, lessee... Pregnancy. Showers. Birth. Photos. Album. Baby. School. Shows. Graduation. Family. Parties. Work. Church. Office. Family. Work. Holidays. Turned 30. Family.

That pretty much sums up what happened. As far as the goodness and badness of these things: well, family is good.

Pregnancy and birth are ok, but living with Simon and watching him grow up is a lot of fun. I never imagined that a baby would make me so happy.

Graduation is good to have under my belt, now if only I could do something with that degree.

Shows have actually started paying a little bit, so that's nice.

Parties are fun, but I'm certainly ready for some down time.

Work is a necessary evil; there's no other way to put it. I've been at my job for (the majority of) 7 and 1/2 years. That sucks. It pays the bills, but it's a real drag.

Being at a new church is a refreshing change. I'm glad to be playing with some different musicians at a church with take a different approach to music in the church.

I turned 30 a few weeks ago and have to admit that I look forward to what the future holds. Not that my life has been bad or anything, but I'm pretty sure this is my only time around, so I'm ready to do something different and try some new things. Exactly what that entails, I'm not sure. I've been reading some of those "100 things to do before you die" lists, and really want to try some of them. So here's to doing some new things in 2008.

Pre-Christmas Reflections

2007-12-21T13:26:00.000-08:00

First, the headline of the day: "Roofing magnate dies in fall from roof". Seriously. It is sad, but raise your hand if you're surprised. Read the full story here.

Moving on, now that there's 3 shopping days until Christmas, I need to get out there and start supporting the Chinese economy, through the purchase of trinkety crap. Like this ugly men's necklace for $150, or these $50 LCD camera/binoculars. Not to be a Grumple or anything, but there's so much stuff that gets given and received at Christmas that everybody could probably do without. Not that I'm going to boycott; it just seems that there's a good portion of stuff around that you see and say, "Huh. I never would have thought of owning such a thing. But now that I have it, and it was given with love from a dear friend, I don't want to part with it." And hence, garbage accumulates, and the Christmas Spirit lives on.

But even more seriously, I can't wait for Simon to get a couple years older, so he can get excited about Christmas, and I can give him stuff. Is that so wrong?

Slow News Day

2007-12-18T15:36:00.000-08:00

Effing Christmas Trees

2007-12-13T10:51:00.001-08:00

On aging

2007-12-12T14:56:00.000-08:00

"We all wake up and we go 'Oh, I ache, I'm not 18 any more, you know, I'm thirty ni- you know, I'm in my thirties, I'm not-', but so what, at least I've got my health. And if you haven't got your health-if you've got one leg, at least I haven't got two legs missing. And if you have lost both legs and both arms, just go 'at least I'm not dead!' I'd rather be dead in that situation, to be honest. I'm not saying people like that should be...you know, put down. I'm saying that, in my life, I'd rather not live without arms and legs because...I'm just getting into yoga, for one thing. So..."
- David Brent

Today is the last day I can honestly say that I'm in my twenties. Sigh. Does it need to be a miserable day? No; I look at kids (I can call them that now) who are 20, and I think "Man, they're young & dumb. I'm glad to be past that stage in life." So, there you go. I'm really trying hard to enjoy and embrace my onsetting fourth decade. Did you know Canada and France have a lifespan that's 5 years longer than the US lifespan? I need to move.

December again.

2007-12-07T13:40:00.000-08:00

So, I've got 5 days left of being able to say "I'm in my 20s." The prospect of turning 30 hasn't bothered me until the past week or so. And I'm not really bothered by it, just more deliberately looking back at my years and seeing how I've spent my time and considering what to do with my future.

I don't know how anybody is able to work full-time and find time to:

a) eat healthily
b) exercise
c) play music (at home or at clubs)
d) read books
e) be a good parent
f) have a social life
g) maintain a clean house
h) watch a good movie or tv show
i) not go crazy

I can usually do 1 or 2 of these things in a day, after work, but pretty much never more than that. It seems that the older I get, the more things I have to do, and the less time I have to do them. Doing these things seemed pretty feasible back when I was a full-time student and part-time employee, but now I think I need to get used to only sleeping 5-6 hours a night, because I don't know how else I can do the things I need to do. Either that, or find a job that pays twice as much, so I can just work 20 hours a week. Other possible solutions for time management include working 4 10-hour days, working a graveyard shift, neither of which I'm really psyched out of my mind about doing.

Idealism

2007-12-05T15:07:00.000-08:00

Idealism. I'm all for it, although usually too realistic (or too cynical?) to fully embrace my idealistic side. This is kind of neat. And it reminds me of that Baz Luhrmann song "Everybody's Free (To wear sunscreen)". And that's ok. It makes me think ahead to New Year's resolutions and planning the next three decades of my life.

Some answers, finally

2007-12-05T12:35:00.000-08:00

01. What is your ultimate pet hate?
Ultimate? Well, probably, the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Or guns. I know some might say "Guns don't kill people," to which I say, "Well, they sure don't heal people, mister."

02. What is the most beautiful accent in the world? French, definitely. Although, British, Irish, and Australian are quite charming. Coming in at a distant 5th: Fargo.

03. If you could choose one city to live in for the rest of your life, which city would it be? I'd like to say somewhere like Sarehole, which supposedly inspired Hobbiton, but I've never been.

04. Who is your favourite film director and why? Woody Allen, because he's hilarious, smart, and made more brilliant (and merely good) movies than most directors could hope for in their entire career.

05. How much do you swear? Too much. Trying to tone it down for the boy.

Christmas Cheer

2007-12-02T17:14:00.000-08:00

In this frantic time of year, it's easy to lose focus on the real reason for the season. So please, after you read this, take the time today to kick someone in the butt.

Thanksgiving Week Wrap Up

2007-11-28T15:06:00.000-08:00

Well, I've had a cold for the past week, a resurgent effort which had been squelched a week before that. Basically, I've had a cold for almost half of the month, which is totally awesome. It really puts me in the Xmas spirit. Also, Simon has sprouted a second tooth on the bottom half of his mouth. I've been calling him Chomper. His 2 main front teeth are poised to pop out any day now. That'll be good.

In other news, Thanksgiving dinner was a success. My parents and brother all went over to Moz's parents house, with all her sisters and their husbands and grandpa. We watched "White Christmas", as we do most Thanksgivings. This year's viewing was the best, though, since we had some festive drinks while watching it, and the girls did their best to sing along with the movie. My sister-in-law's husband (who had never seen it before) said that he could imagine someone liking it "if they were 6." That earned him some growls and scowls from around the room.

Friday night, I went with Kazugoogoo and his brother to see Menomena at the Crystal Ballroom. We got there in time to watch Shaky Hands, from the bar area. They were terrible. Bad singing, out of tune guitars, totally sloppy musicians. It wasn't good.

We went to the all-age area and got a lot closer to the stage when Menomena played. They were pretty good, but seemed tired and a little loose. I've seen them 3 times this year; this was the first time I've seen them without their choir since about a year ago at the Doug Fir. I figured out that I've probably seen Menomena more times in concert than any other band, ever. So, I think I'm a fairly good judge of when they are having an off night. Friday was an off night. Not terrible, just not up to par. And that's ok. They have great songs, great arrangements, and play with a lot of enthusiasm and warmth on stage. I was pleasantly shocked at how full the venue was, too, especially for being $12 advance or $15 at the door. According to McMenamin's, "The venue's capacity is 1500". So there was easily 1000 people there. Maybe more like 1300. I was proud of those guys for making it to such a level of success and slightly jealous of both their success and their creative freedom. Anyway, in the above photo, I'm somewhere on the leftish side, with a stoned hipster standing in front of me, blowing pot in the faces of the poor people all around.

Update: This week also marks the official end of infatuation with Heroes. I watched the whole first season in about 10 days, so that was nice and cheezy, but still fun. This season seems really inferior to the first, and I fell asleep during Mondays episode. On Tuesday, I found I really didn't care if I watched it or not. You can only use the phrase "save the world" so many times before it loses its power and drama. Here's hoping they do better whenever season 2.5 or 3 starts up.

Also, they are impertinent.

2007-11-19T13:19:00.000-08:00

The Wednesday Survey.

2007-11-14T09:24:00.000-08:00

Tell me about yourself, please.

01. What is your ultimate pet hate?
02. What is the most beautiful accent in the world?
03. If you could choose one city to live in for the rest of your life, which city would it be?
04. Who is your favourite film director and why?
05. How much do you swear?

My answers will be posted later.

Indiana "Han Solo" Jones is Deckard! or "Get off my plane, replicant!"

2007-11-13T13:35:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago KZGG, his brother Stephen and I went to Cinema 21 to see the new, suped-up version of Blade Runner. The movie was cool; the brothers took turns sleeping through it. I shared my coconut vodka; a good time was had. The movie was enjoying a brief theatrical run before its imminent release (in many different packaging and bundling options)on dvd.

What I found quite interesting about the experience was the marketing people there, handing out surveys to everyone. Here are the most interesting items that they wanted to know:

2. Age [with 4 year ranges]
4. Level of Education
6. Which of the following were important to you in deciding to see [this film]
[Here were 29 different options, ranging from "I'm a fan of Joanna Cassidy" to "It is action-packed". "I brought a flask of cheap vodka" was, sadly, not an option.]
11. Would you recommend this movie to your friends? [5 options here - the division between "Yes" and "No" is vast and murky]
12. To whom would you recommend this movie? [M/F & Age are the only options. This presupposes that if you know one 45 year old female who would like it, then all 45 year old females you know would like it.]
15. Below is a list of words and phrases that might be used to describe various films. Please "X" as many words and phrases as you feel apply to Blade Runner: The Final Cut. [40 different words and phrases, ranging from "Too weird/strange" to "Has interesting settings" to "A must see version of Blade Runner". "Han Solo," "Mr. President," and "It's Indiana Jones in the future!" were not options.]
16. Please tell us the scenes you liked most. Please be as specific as possible. [Why do they want to know which scenes? Is this for creating the tv commercials, they'll know which parts to include?]
21. What are you most likely to do when Blade Runner: The Final Cut is released on DVD? [8 options here, but none of them were "Make an eggnog latte in celebration."]

For those of you including me on your Christmas lists this year, I would love this Five-Disc Ultimate Collector's Edition.

Tips to spice up your love life

2007-11-12T09:49:00.000-08:00

1. Fart into a tupperware
2. Put the lid on it
3. Chase your beloved around the house with that tupperware.
4. Those are all the tips I can think of.

Quote of the Day

2007-11-10T16:23:00.000-08:00

"He uses the booger vacuum like it's a maraca."

Feel free to use this quote to spice up your own conversations.

Crass Commercialism!

2007-10-31T12:26:00.000-07:00

Come visit my store on CafePress!

Happy Halloween, or Weird, Wild World(s?)

2007-10-30T13:03:00.000-07:00

Well, let me put it this way: lately I've been increasingly interested in paranormal activities. Just your basic real life X-files type of stuff, like UFOS, Area 51, bigfoot, conspiracy theories, ghosts, and the like. My interest in this stuff comes from probably a few sources: A) My dad had several books (like "The Book of the Damned" about unexplained mysteries that I read a lot when I was a kid. I remember being fascinated by "The Devil's Footprints." B) My interest in sci-fi movies. Wouldn't it be cool/weird if real life was more like a sci-fi movie? C) My personal weird experiences (with various things) that can't be easily explained.

So, I've been bored at work and stumbled upon lots of weird websites, like Cryptomundo, Forgetomori, and Mysterious Universe. Mysterious Universe also produces a really terrific podcast, hosted by an Australian gent who seems to be pretty smart and grounded, and more skeptical than you might expect from this type of show.

One of my weird experiences: shortly my wife & I bought our house, we'd been living there for about a few weeks. There was an empty lot on the south side of our house. Mo & I were sitting in the living room, just hanging out, and we heard something banging loudly against the side of our house, like going from the west end to the east end, pounding hard against the house. My first thought was "great, bad neighborhood kids harassing the new people." But this noise was so loud and shook the house, it was more like a car drove into the side of the house. It was pretty terrifying. I looked out the window and didn't see anyone, so I ran outside to try to see what was around. As you might have guessed, there was no one around. I checked all around the house and found no one and nothing that could have made such a huge noise. In the following months, the same thing happened a few more times. Loud banging, like our house was being pounded by a bunch of angry fists, and always, I could find no-one around to blame.

My first assumption, of course, is that our house was being harassed by the ghost of Bigfoot, who was placed there by aliens, with the cooperation of the men in black. Wait, that's not true. But the experience was real, and unexplainable by Mo & I.

I know it's terribly boring to hear about someone else's dreams, so if you don't want to be bored, don't read the next paragraph.

Another weird thing: last week, after spending several days of looking at "evidence" of UFOs and aliens on earth, I had something of a lucid dream/sleep paralysis. I dreamt that men in black came to my bedroom, as I slept, to try to get me to quit uncovering the truth about them. One of them then placed his hand over my mouth, so I couldn't breath. Here's where it got lucid. I knew that I was in my bed, next to Mo, and either A)if this was real, then she should wake up to get this hand off my mouth or B) if this was a dream, then it was terrifying and i needed her to wake me up. So I started saying her name, but it was hard to, since this man in black had his hand over my mouth (or so I thought). Eventually, my calling her name woke her up, so then she woke me up by shaking me, and I was freaked out. I had to go check on the baby, to make sure the men in black hadn't gotten him, then I went back to bed, but couldn't sleep, since I had so much adrenaline from the night terror.

Have you had a weird encounter you'd like to share in the comments? Please do.

Happy Halloween!

Wednesday's Child

2007-10-24T15:26:00.001-07:00

Real quickly: we gutted some pumpkins and carved grotesque images into the disemboweled shells last night. Pics to come in the next week or 2. Teresa has some pre-carved pics. Also, I posted a couple new comics today on my comic blog, which I'm thinking of finally re-incorporating into this 'ere blog, just to keep it simple.

Well, sweetie, don't get mad at me. That's just one man's opinion.

2007-10-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

I recently had an email exchange with a friend, regarding "The Royal Tenenbaums". Here is (basically) what I wrote:

I love The Royal Tenenbaums and watch it pretty regularly. I don't find the soundtrack to be "wall to wall hipster favorites" (as one reviewer claims). John Lennon, Bob Dylan and Nico aren't quite "hipster" musicians. Yes, the music is pretty omnipresent, but that's part of Anderson's style.

As far as the "lack of genuine emotion" in the movie, I guess that's a matter of perception. I cry pretty much every time I watch this movie, and not at the same point every time. Maybe that makes me a sentimental wuss, I don't know. I thought the movie packed a genuine emotional punch regarding themes of distant fathers, reconciliation, sibling relationships, and the confusing nature of romantic love.

The enjoyable quirkiness, memorable lines, fully developed characters, brilliant cinematography and scrupulous set design are intriguing, and I find new bits to enjoy with each viewing. As with all of Anderson's films, I find that I enjoy and appreciate them more after 2 or more viewings. Yes, the movie is slightly off-kilter and not quite reality, but that's kind of the point. It's a bit like a fairy tail, hence the narration and chapters into which the film is divided. It's Wes Anderson's version of life, wherein nearly everything is symmetrical, most conversations are filled with verbal idiosyncrasies, and people say hilarious stuff without laughing.

Anderson's latest film (The Darjeeling Limited) is also great, but is very much like all of his films: lots of little details, emotionally wounded characters, funny/awkward conversations, etc. It's gotten mostly good reviews, but the bad reviews of it that I've read have said basically either "has too much emotion and not enough plot" OR "has too much stuff but not enough emotion." So, I guess it depends on one's point of view.

I'm sure you know the site, but for a round-up of professional criticism, I peruse Rotten Tomatoes: This links to the review of The Royal Tenenbaums, which has an 80% rating on the site, which is a pretty solid recommendation from the 160+ reviewers.

I mean, I guess you don't have to like it, after all, Wildcat was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular.

editor's note: Updated with photo below!

To be or to has-been, that is the question.

2007-10-12T13:10:00.000-07:00

The headline was intriguing enough: "Music stars: We must still fight nukes." But when I followed the link, I was still waiting to read about the stars which the headline referred to. Then I figured out I was already reading about them: Bonnie Raitt, Jackson Browne, Graham Nash and Harvey Wasserman. Her? Who? I think I know him? and Who? can be read about here.

Still I think Shakespeare said it best when he sort of said, "To be or to has-been, that is the question."

New Comic! Again!

2007-10-12T12:56:00.000-07:00

Since I've got time, I made another one. Here.

A Typical Day

2007-10-11T10:03:00.000-07:00

Here is a chart from the US Department of Labor depicting how most people spend their leisure time:

Here's a brief rundown of what my days have been like lately:
5:45 Alarm goes off. Snooze for 18 minutes.
6:03 Grab random clothes in the dark so I don't disturb the sleeping wife and baby.
6:05 Shower, Dress, etc.
6:25 Grab something edible to take in the truck.
6:27 Hit the road.
6:42-7:05 arrive at work. Time varies wildly due to traffic on the 2 freeways I take.
7:00-4:00 work at the office. It's not hard work, but Lord, it ain't fun.
4:20-4:45 arrive at home.
4:45-8:30 watch the baby, feed him dinner, change his diapers, crawl around with him. Try to grab some food for myself in this time as well.
8:30-9:30 try to get the baby to sleep.
9:30-10:15 have a drink and try to watch 1/2 an episode of the Sopranos before falling asleep on the couch.

Granted, not every day is like this, with virtually no free time. But there are some when the days are this packed, which makes me think about things. Will it always be like this? Why do I have all this stuff? Etc.

In other news, the new Radiohead album doesn't disappoint.

New Comic!

2007-10-04T12:33:00.000-07:00

It's a Halloween miracle! I posted a new comic on The Art Teacher, my long-forsaken comic blog. Check it out here.

DJ Culture

2007-10-04T12:11:00.001-07:00

Just a funny photo I stumbled upon. I wish I'd done it first. Better yet, I wish I'd made it a comic first.

Fall is here, bees.

2007-10-03T13:00:00.001-07:00

Well, since the race is officially on, between Moz and I, to see who can blog about our annual fish hatchery visit first and best, I'd like to take this moment to throw this blog post in the running. But first, take a moment to appreciate the striking beauty of Mo and her new hair:

Over the weekend: the band played in Salem & ate burritos on Luke's front steps, since his wife had his apartment keys and he was locked out. Sunday: the band played at the Towne Lounge, which at first smelled like an arena's bathroom (i.e. used by thousands and foul) but then got pretty decent.

My old friend Lonny was in town, so he came to Sunday's show and we went to the Kennedy on Monday for dinner and drinks. Tuesday we took our kids (with Mo of course) up to Multnomah Falls, then the fish 'atchery and then to Charburger, whose logo I thought was sure to offend Lonny, since he has some Native American ancestry. However, the logo wouldn't keep him away, so we went in and got our grub on. The food was totally edible and unremarkable, save the world's biggest maple bar, which we took home and cut in two.

Simon spent most of the time staring at Lonny's daughter, and she was mutually fascinated by him, I think. See photo below for evidence.

Anyway, Lonny is a good friend who I met when I was 5(!). He now has a daughter that age(!). Nothing makes you feel old like that sort of knowledge. We went to school together, then worked at summer camp together, and spent many a Sunday skipping church and either a) going to Winchell's or b) videotaping random people we thought were funny. Feaver partook in much of this hi-jinkery. Anyway, Lonny and I reclaimed our glorious, reckless youth by playing some Halo 3 before he and his 3 year old daughter had to head on out.

All told, it was a fun weekend being dads together and reminiscing a little bit about days of yore. And talking about the biggest mysteries in life, like brothers, mothers, and the church. All of which can be summarized with: WTF?

Editor's Note to Author's Mother: Just kidding, mom.
Editor's Note to everyone else: Not really.
P.S. Or am I?

Mime is money, or, The Fears of a Clown

2007-09-26T07:44:00.000-07:00

Marcel Marceau, the world's most famous mime died, and that's too bad. But is there any among you who doesn't find this picture horrifying?

There's no way this face doesn't scare people.

10 not crappy, mostly random songs

2007-09-21T12:42:00.001-07:00

As I did about a year and a half ago, I now present the first 10 songs that show up when I put my iPod on shuffle. Before the list, though, you should know a)I have a 30gb iPod, b) I have a 105gb music library, c) therefore, my iPod gets a very limited selection of my full library, but always has everything by my favorite artists ever, and favored artists at the moment. Without further ado, the list:

1. "Que Onde Guero" by Beck - Oh Beck. So good, usually, but this album (Guero) seemed like a step backward. He's been treading water on this album and The Information. It's not terrible, not offensive, just not as good as any of his previous 4 albums.

2. "Silver Lining" by U2 - This is an early, live version of "11 o'clock tick tock," only with different lyrics. This is pretty rough and even has some slightly out-of-tune backing vocals from Mr. Edge. It's funny to hear how rough they were and know that they would one day be one of the biggest bands in the world.

3. "That's the Way" by Led Zeppelin - What a gentle song from a gentle album. It's weird to hear this album and think how underused Bonham is on it. Anyhow, I especially love the way Robert Plant's voice was recorded, like in a bathroom, but also running through a phaser or something. It's unique and beautiful. This song really is melancholic; I love it. This is the first 5 star song from this 10 song shuffle.

4. "If you've got troubles (1982 stereo mix)" by The Beatles - I've got a bunch of Beatles studio outtakes and alternate mixes. There are alternate versions of most of their albums, comprised of entirely different takes and mixes of songs, plus tons of demos that were never turned into album tracks. This song is a standard forgettable/cute Ringo-sung number, made interesting only on the merit of its stereo mixing. This song is from a collection called "Another Session Plus". That link tells you about the origins of this mix.

5. "Boogaloo Boogie" by Stanton Moore - Stanton is my favorite living drummer. He plays on a simple kit and plays with a deeper pocket than Donald Trump, if you'll forgive the mixed metaphor. His main gig is the hip-hop/New Orleans/instrumental/jam band Galactic, but he's also a solo artist, and has played with a ton of people including Corrosion of Conformity, Irma Thomas, and the New Orleans Klezmer All Stars. Go here for videos and mp3s. Like many of his songs, this one is instrumental and features guitar, sax and organ. Listen to how he rides the line between swung (jazzy) and straight notes. Fun stuff.

6. "8-21-07 Elvis' Stolen Gun" by The Don and Mike Show - Ok, this isn't a song at all, but a part of my favorite radio show, which I have to listen to as a podcast, since it's on at an inconvenient hour, syndicated from their home in DC. I don't know where to begin to explain this show, but part of its appeal is their love of Elvis Presley, Larry King, and Jerry Lewis. And Regis. They frequently conduct interviews in character, either as Elvis or Larry King. This reminds me of an English project in high school, when Connor Doe and I handed in a little show called "Oscar Wilde's Story Hour" or something, wherein we took turns reading, in terrible British/Irish accents, paragraphs of Oscar Wilde's short stories, while some Renaissance music played in the background. It was hilarious and I think we got an A. Anyway, Don and Mike are funny, frequently berate their callers, talk a lot about the funniest parts of their personal lives (much like a good blog does), and they provide me with a lot of what I need to know about pop culture. Wikipedia, of course, has more in depth details about their show.

7. "Same Old Thing" by The Meters - I got into The Meters because of Stanton Moore. That's a funny thing with music, finding out about a much earlier existing band and their influence on a more current band that you like, but you still like the current band more. Regardless, The Meters were a great band, and Ziggy Modeliste had great skills on the drums. The Meters were a terrificly funky band, from NO,LA, like Stanton Moore and Harry Connick Jr. A classic band who were much more influential than I ever realized, until the past year or so. This song has a great tight riff, some occasional vocals, and a pure funky groove.

8. "Mr. Sellack" by The Roches - I recently got all the albums by The Roches, thanks to Elvis Costello including them on some kind of celebrity playlist or something. They're a female folk trio of sisters from the east coast. Maybe NY? They have great 3-part harmonies and seem like good music for Simon to listen to. They are somehow connected to Rufus Wainwright's musical mother & aunt. My favorite song of theirs is "Quitting Time."

9. "I'm not Angry" by Elvis Costello - There are some bands like Galactic, The Meters, or Led Zeppelin that make we want to immediately pick up drum sticks and practice. Other groups, like The Roches, make me wish I could sing like them. Elvis Costello is an artist that makes me wish I knew more guitar chords, could write clever lyrics, and could write intriguing, brilliant melodies. He's an amazing musician and I wish I'd listened to him for the past 20 years instead of just the past 2.

10. "Black Town" by Rotary Downs - This is a good little indie band I heard on NPR. Their vocalist reminds me a bit of Ken Andrews of Failure. Musically, they've been compared frequently to Pavement. I'm still digesting this album, so no judgments yet. Coincidentally, this band is also from New Orleans.

Breaking News!

2007-09-17T10:52:00.001-07:00

According to this blog, Portland has the greatest concentration of educated people, of all cities in the US. Also, the greatest concentration of morons. Now you can tell your friends, "I read online somewhere that Portland has the greatest concentration of educated people." And they'll be like, "That makes sense. People in Portland seem pretty smart. Where did you read that?" And you can say, "Somewhere online, I can't remember exactly." But it'll seem totally believable.

Oden and Simon

2007-09-14T10:30:00.000-07:00

Having recently finished lunching with Marisa and Simon, let me say that Simon pretty much makes me happier than anything in the world. His mere presence makes me gleeful. Then when he starts looking around and smiling and laughing at things, oh man, I like to fall out.

Secondly, I can't help but think it's hilarious that the Blazers' Greg Oden won't be playing with them this season, due to his recuperation. Freaking hilarious. So many people around here flipped the eff out when the Blazers got Oden in the draft, it was like Beatlemania for a while. He was on the cover of pretty much all the newspapers for a while, and it got to be rather annoying to hear all about people's hopes for Portland to be the center of the sports world for a little while.

This is yet another reason why I have virtually no interest in professional sports. There's so much hype so often and then something like Oden's surgery happens and deflates everyone. Fantasy football. Super Bowl hype. World Series hype. Player's salaries. Ratings. Commercials. Endorsements. It all strikes me as utterly trivial and an useless way for the public to spend time and dollars. I'm not ashamed to say it - since about age 13, I've had no interest in watching sports. Playing sports, maybe, but watching pro athletes and thinking about their stats has always seemed like a tremendous waste of energy, both in time and money. In high school, there were posters around the campus which read "Get high on sports, not drugs!" These never made any sense to me, whatsoever. At least when I play video games, I can think that I'm working on hand-eye coordination.

With pro sports, it's hard to watch and not think about how filthy rich these bastards are and how, chances are, I'll never have that kind of money, regardless of my talent and education and regardless of how I might benefit society. It's that whole thing about how teachers are one of the most valuable people in society, yet they make a terribly disproportionate salary.

To those of you who feel crestfallen by Oden's withdrawal, think about this: there's always going to be another season and another batch of athletes to get excited about. Always. So when you put all this emotional and mental investment into something as trivial as pro sports, I would like to just say "Go read a book." Great authors like Richard Ford continue to write and be read, regardless of the author's injury or recuperation time.

Finally, in a totally unrelated Google search, the phrase "pro sports are a waste of time" only yielded 3 results. For shame, internet, for shame. Not that I won't watch at least part of the World Series this year; I'll just do it with the knowledge that I could be doing something much more productive. Like playing Bioshock.

The Summer `07 Survey

2007-09-06T16:34:00.000-07:00

DEFINING MOMENT OF SUMMER `07: Finishing college. The "moment," I suppose, was giving a speech to my Oregon writers class, which was the last bit of schoolwork.

BEST PURCHASE OF SUMMER `07: Xbox 360 or maybe my 24" Istanbul ride cymbal. I don't know. This was a rather lean summer.

BEST BOOK YOU READ DURING SUMMER `07: The Sky Fisherman by Craig Lesley. I first read it 9 years ago, during the first term of my college career, so it seems rather fitting that I'd read it again for a class during my final term of school. A great book, too, about a teenage boy in a small town whose uncle is a local celebrity, and then there are some mysterious deaths and some bildungsroman.

BEST MOVIE YOU SAW DURING SUMMER `07: Zodiac. Or maybe The Departed. I cannot get over how effing good The Departed is. Theatrically? Maybe Knocked Up, which I saw twice. Definitely not any of the trilogy-ending flicks, like Spiderman, Pirates, or Oceans. And big-time not Transformers. How come I'm such a sucker for big-budget crap-fests?

BEST GIFT YOU RECEIVED IN SUMMER `07: Graduation $$ from my favorite parents.

BIGGEST LOSS OF SUMMER `07: I lost out on getting a vacation since this was definitely the poorest summer Moz and I have had yet, cash-wise.

SONG THAT SUMS UP SUMMER `07: Based on repeated listens alone, I'd say "45" by Elvis Costello. Plus it's a song about growing older, I think, which I relate to graduation and fatherhood. According to this site 45 is: "a song he wrote for his 45th birthday. It begins with Armistice day in 1945, the beginning of his generation and goes through the 45rpm records he bought as a child, to splitting up those same records in a divorce and finally his own 45th birthday. He addresses rock and roll of course, as part of the definition of his generation (and manages to poke fun both his youthful and current self)." Or maybe the Sm'umpkins "Doomsday Clock" which totally rocks and could equally be about getting older. I listened to that one a lot to, but for the sheer quality of its intensity rather than its attributes as a great song. "45" is a great song, with a fantastic melody, good dynamics, et al.

HAPPIEST MEMORY OF SUMMER `07: Probably all the nighttime fires in the backyard, sipping on White Russians or Rum & Cokes.

SADDEST MEMORY OF SUMMER `07: Nothing really tragic happened, so perhaps I'll say that as Moz and I watched Simon go from newborn to infant to learning to crawl and outgrow a bunch of clothes, I was reminded on a regular basis that a) we're in this for the long haul, and b) in probably 20 years or so Simon will have to move out and won't be under our constant loving supervision. I realize this is nothing new, but it still breaks my heart just a little.

SCARIEST MEMORY OF SUMMER `07: The realization that we were effing broke.

WORD THAT BEST DESCRIBES SUMMER `07: Flux. That is, a change in jobs, education, and responsibilities for Moz and I.

Big boy!

2007-09-06T15:05:00.000-07:00

Well, Simon started crawling two days ago. And it's more of an army crawl, like he's pulling himself along with his amazingly strong arms because his legs were blown off by enemy fire. Or something. Also, he's able to pull himself into an upright sitting position. And he's gotten pretty good at stealing his friends' toys. Much like his father, I'd say. We have photographic evidence of destruction of one such stolen toy. I love how his expression is like, "Oh crap! I'm caught!"

My Stress Level

2007-09-06T09:56:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm done with educating up myself, I have time for stupid internet games and such. One of the funniest thing I've come across is a Hello Kitty Stress Test. I think it's for reals, but I'm not entirely sure. Here is the result of my stress test, verbatim:

You have a fair stress level.

One of the reasons for this is your conscious awareness to release your stress before letting it get worst.

However when you come across many troubles at the same time, you might unable to handle it. There comes the problem. For this type you better enjoy the green and wood.

As long as you are in the natural environment, you will be peaceful to resolve any problems.

And I tend to agree with this analysis. I will be peaceful to resolve any problems as long as I'm in the natural environment. That's probably why I enjoyed working at summer camp so much as a teen: I was in the natural environment. I was totally peaceful to resolve any problems.

Now, I better go enjoy the green and the wood, like Hello Kitty told me to. However, I seem to be stuck in this cubicle-ridden wasteland of fluorescent lights and BO.

Everyone wants to know what the next caper will be

2007-08-17T11:43:00.000-07:00

I'm just saying let's enjoy this moment.

Unless the kindly British teacher decided to flunk me based on yesterday's thoroughly adquate presentation, I have finished my Bachelor's degree in English. So I'm ready for my job as a barista or driver or courier or something. Actually, I may have a few, um, things in the oven... no, wait, what's that metaphor? I have a few sticks in the fire? A few black pots on the kettle? A few horses being led? I can't remember. Anyhow, I'm hoping for a work opportunity that's actually tangentially related to my field of study.

I am regretfully unable to attend the graduation ceremony, due to a rock and roll gig in beautiful Bellingham, Washington. It's about 264 miles from my house. Roughly. But there will be a big graduation party in the future, coordinated with Lavalier and Widmer beer.

Finally, Simon is about this close to crawling. This close, I swear! He's quite strong and proud of himself. He's a good boy. We recently bought him a banana wheel, which, for you non-parents of babies out there, is something like the water wheel, only it's made out of bananas, for quick banana dispensing. Ok, we didn't really buy it for him, it's just an idea I'm working on. The details are a little fuzzy, and I can't decide whether it should distribute bananas, be made out of bananas, or both. I'm hoping I can patent it and turn it into one of those essential baby items, like a $500 car seat, the endangered alligator skin diaper bag, and electric/hybrid stroller with shocks.

Giant Animals Attack! a.k.a. News of the Weird!

2007-08-10T15:42:00.000-07:00

6 Foot Tall Birds!

Flying Sturgeon Puts Girl in Coma!

The Chupacabra... Revealed!

And of course, Oregon is totally haunted.

Finally, there's a new Chuck Palahniuk movie in the works. Choke on this!

Vow, kids... vasn’t it SCARY? Awooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

August, die she must

2007-08-03T14:49:00.000-07:00

August, die she must
The autumn winds blow chilly and cold

And so ends my obligatory Simon & Garfunkel reference. Those guys are the best. Anyway, here I am, 8 days left of classroom attendance, one final nearly written, two being assembled in my head.

Speaking of my head,
Q: "How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "One to hold the iguana and three to wrestle the wolverine into the bathtub."

That's a joke I chose to write about for my grammar class. Isn't that brilliant?! Writing about jokes and getting college credit for it. For further online English classes, see also: my James Bond class.

In other news, Simon is learning to eat from a spoon:

I love how Simon's hands are saying, "Sha-Zam!"

In other news, the cover band played our first gig, for Moz's sisters wedding reception. We looked awesome and didn't play horribly:

So, lately I've been reading for anywhere from 2 to 6 hours a day, trying to keep up with my "Contemporary Oregon Writers" class at PSU. It's a good class; the teacher is a brilliant Brit who knows more about the history of the Pacific Northwest than anyone I know. And he lives thousands of miles away! Anyway, that class covers a new novel every 2 days, so a lot of reading is required. But I make up for it by watching 3 James Bond movies a week, so don't worry, I'm not getting too book-smart.

And finally, a quick and sincere RIP to the churchy community formerly known as the Helix. Ye shall be missed, but all things must pass.

July update

2007-07-19T16:07:00.001-07:00

Jeepers, I can't believe it's been so long since my last update. Let's see what's new...

I've recently rekindled my fondness for the comic art of Berkeley Breathed, the genius behind Bloom County, Outland, and Opus comics. He also does some pretty great kid's books. And his latest weekly comic, Opus, can be found in giant, glorious color here.

What else is new? Lavalier and I have been watching the James Bond films, in chronological order, averaging about 3 movies a week. Last night's film was "The Spy Who Loved Me," which featured not only "the sexiest song ever written" but also had some wonderful production design from Ken Adam. Next up is "Moonraker" and boy am I psyched! It's the only Bond film I've never seen! It's supposed to be craptacular!

Also in the news, I'm supposed to be getting a new vehicle tonight. Specifically, my dad's dad's truck. Hopefully that'll work out, and the Sloop/Emtotheizo vehicular drought of '07 (which coincided with Simon's birth - coincidence? - I think not!) will hopefully be over. I've never been a huge fan of trucks, as an auto type, but I ain't picky. I have to start using words like "ain't" and "yee-haw" now that I'll be driving a truck, right?

Furthermore, my band has been getting metric tonnes of press lately. Like the Portland Mercury, Gen Art Pulse, KPSU (live on-air performance & interview)- get the mp3), and the Willamette Week. Woot and phew, that's a lot.

So, please come to the cd release show at the Doug Fir tomorrow; sorry, but the guest list is full. But I will be looking out... for YOU!

An actual conversation

2007-06-29T15:11:00.000-07:00

Last night, the power in my neighborhood went out. I called the power company on my cell phone. This is exactly what transpired:

Southern Fried Redneck Customer Service Hillbilly: (mumbles) Paahr.
Me: What? Hello?
SFRCSH: Puh(mumbles) Paahr!
Me: Um. Ok, my power is out.
SFRCSH: Wut's yer address?
Me: (address withheld from blog. Just say "No" to online stalkers!)
SFRCSH: Wut? Wut state yew ee-in?
Me: Oregon.
SFRCSH: Orygun!!?? You got the wrong state, buddy!
Me: Ok...
SFRCSH: You need to call the Orygun nummer!
Me: Well, this is the number that my power company told me to call.
SFRCSH: Yore callin' Flarida! You need to call Orygun!
Me: Ok, well can you tell me what number that is? My power is out...
SFRCSH: No; you need to call the Orygun nummer! Yore callin' Flarida! What you need to do is call Orygun! (ad infinitum)
Me: (click)

In other news, my church is breaking up, but it's the right time for that. Imagine God saying, "It's not you, it's me." Or something like that.

In other other news, I need to work more. And get paid for it. It seems that having a baby costs money, and certain roommates moving out and certain selves working less means there is less money around for my champagne and caviar parties. So there's that. I'd prefer not to answer phones, operate a cash register, or work evenings or weekends, but beyond that I'm flexible. Really! Any ideas? I'd consider male modeling, hand modeling, or even model aeroplaning, if that's a job.

Sloop's Back!

2007-06-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

At Benjy's 6th grade graduation party:

Let's get Lost

2007-05-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't think that I've ever blogged about Lost before. It's the only show that I watch on TV. Literally, the only show. I do watch other shows, like Deadwood and Curb Your Enthusiasm, but since I don't have HBO, I usually have to wait until they're on DVD or somehow on my hard drive before I can watch them.

So, the finale of Lost Season 3 was last night, and boy was it a doozy. Right off the bat, I want to say how proud I am that I called the "flash-forward" regarding Jack's storyline, which was posed as a traditional flashback throughout the episode. The clues were all there: we don't get to see whose body is at the funeral parlor; we don't know why people are calling Jack a "hero, twice over", plus there's that conspicuously 90's Nirvana song and the era-ambiguous wardrobe. And finally, Jack looking at the various Oceanic flight maps and such. So, I called it and there are witnesses: Flying Waitress, Kazu Googoo, Emtotheizo, I'm looking at you.

One great thing about watching Lost with a group (at least with this episode), is that afterwards, and even during commercials, there are so many mysteries and cliff-hangers to talk about that the theories just abound ceaselessly. My questions (and I know that few, if any, will be answered next season, if ever) are these:

1. Will Season 4 be filled with flash-forwards, instead of flashbacks? Probably not, since on the official Lost podcast, they said there would be a Rousseau flashback next season.
2. Who is on the boat? Just because it's not Penny's boat doesn't mean they're evil.
3. Who was in the casket? I'm guessing Sawyer, Locke, or Ben.
4. At the end of the episode, who is waiting for Kate? I'm guessing Sawyer or just some random husband.
5. What did Jack read that made him suicidal? I'm guessing it was about an island being nuked.
6. How did Walt age like 4 years in just a few island-weeks? I'm guessing we weren't supposed to notice his growth spurt or his deepened voice.
7. Why hasn't Richard aged at all, after 30 years on the island?
8. WTF is Jacob? A man? A ghost? An demon?
9. Who is the parachutist and why did she lie about where she came from?
10. Why is Locke such an a-hole? He didn't have to kill her to stop her from calling. Is he really so desperate to stay on the island? Sure, he can walk there, but he's totally missing American Idol.
11. WTF is up with the smoke monster? I bet this one never gets explained.

I've got about a zillion other questions, but those are the ones that spring to mind.
Any other good questions?

Finally, a few Lost links:
Lostpedia
Oceanic Flight 815 (official site with message board)
TV without Pity - episodes synopsis & analysis
Lost Spoilers - of course, I'm guessing this won't be of much use until next January or so

Mother's Day Mix

2007-05-18T11:47:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know that it's like a week late, but here is a mix of songs for Mother's Day.

1. Motherless Child - Portishead w/Tom Jones
2. Honour your Mother & Father - Desmond Dekker
3. All Because of You - U2
4. Mother & Child Reunion - Paul Simon
5. That's All Right, Mama - Elvis Presley
6. Have you seen your mother, baby, standing in the shadow? - The Rolling Stones
7. Wave/Mother Nature's Son - Brad Mehldau
8. Your Mother Should Know - The Beatles
9. Mother's Love - Alela Diane
10. Mother Heroic - Bjork
11. Thanksgiving to the Mother of God (Greek Chant) - Rachmaninov
12. Mother of Pearl - Roxy Music
13. Does your mother know? - ABBA
14. Decatur, or, Round of Applause for Your Stepmother - Sufjan Stevens
15. This is to mother you - Sinead O'Connor
16. Goodbye to the Mother & the Cover - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
17. Mother Stands for Comfort - Kate Bush
18. We Share our Mother's Health - The Knife
19. Send a picture of mother - Johnny Cash
20. Mother - John Lennon

I listened to this mix this morning, and I like it.

Father of the Year / Jerk of the Week

2007-05-16T14:59:00.000-07:00

I normally reserve my unrepentant cruelty for people I know, but this jackassery cannot stand. The culprit? An idiotic father who got his 10 month old baby a gun permit. He just made my jerk list. Jerk!

Some would say that having a gun in the house is a good way to keep your family safe. I would say that having a gun in the house is a good way to put your family at risk for accidents.

Fun facts:

1. As of 1997 handguns have been almost completely banned for private ownership in England.

2. In 2005/06 in England, only 6.6% of reported homicides were committed with firearms, one being with an air weapon.

3. By comparison, in the United States in 2000, 70% of the homicides involved the use of firearms.

4. People can come up with statistics to prove anything. 40% of all people know that.

5. Think about it.

More reading, with tons of links.

May Day! May Day!

2007-05-16T13:01:00.000-07:00

This is my band. We spent most of Mother's Day having our pictures taken.

The boy is amazing and continues to surpise me every day.

School is still going, keeping me quite busy, and the kindergartners are very fun to teach music. My Brit Lit prof assigned us an extra essay yesterday. Whoopee.

I can't wait to be done with school and homework forever. Just a few more months. Sigh.

Frogger

2007-04-27T09:24:00.000-07:00

Here it is, the end of April 2007. The eaglet grows bigger every day. Beyond that, there's nothing new to report. Not that "Baby Gets Bigger!" is like a stop-the-presses type of headline, but isn't solipsism sort of the point of having a blog? He's got a great head of hair which alternates between "Christopher Walken" and "New School Mohawk" and "Portland Hipster Tousled", all of which are totally awesome to me.

I met with an advisor in the English department at PSU yesterday, and guess what? I'm on track to graduate after summer term. Just like the computer's been telling me for over a year. But having a person from the department say it makes it more official and real, just like blogging something makes an experience more important or even note-worthy, especially since you've just made notes about it.

I can't remember the last time I went to a show, to a restaurant, or to the theater. Life has mostly revolved around a few rooms in my house, which is weird, but I'm sure even worse for my sweet wife, who somehow is able to produce more milk for the eaglet and is therefore stuck at home almost all the time.

I work some, I do homework, I play drums with people, I tend to the eaglet. Repeat. I'm glad that things will change before long, with school being done. Thank gods for music.

What's Going On

2007-04-20T09:43:00.000-07:00

Well, blog o' mine, I notice you've been getting neglected and I'm here to say I'm sorry. Sort of. You see, the time that I used to spend updating you is now being spent doing homework, working, or most importantly, trying to get my baby to stick his tongue out at me.

I've also been reading about the 100 worst-reviewed movies ever, and I'm shocked that I've seen so many of them.

My "free" time has been split between playing at MSCC with J-Tho, J-Mer and the 'Cane, rehearsing the new band material with Jonny and Benjy, and working on some cover band songs to play at Jessica's wedding, with JJ, Benj, and SLR.

Then there's the whole baby thing. Trying to get through each day with minimal crying and minimal poop on my hands is tough. And then there's Simon to deal with! Zoinks!

But seriously, the weight of responsibility can be freaking overwhelming. There's a person whose entire LIFE is dependent on M & I. Now, I don't know about you, but I feel fairly unequipped to deal with my own life, but I think that's part of being human. You do the best you can and try not to hurt people or screw up too badly, then you die.

So, as I prepare to finally graduate college, I need to find some sort of career that can help sustain life for the baby, M, and I, all without somehow killing my soul. And in my experience, 8-5 M-F jobs are designed to drain you of energy, hope, optimism, and faith in humanity. Like I said to God the other day, "Why do you lay these troubles on an already troubled mind?"

Meanwhile, we're talking about getting a new house, since we're getting a little tired of the constant gangs of homeless people, drunks, stray dogs, and whores who frequent the sidewalks of our block. But buying a new house is rather impossible when a) one party only works part time, and sporadically at that and b)one party is presently on Mo-ternity leave.

Latest listens:
Jonah - Trust everyone before they break your heart
Rufus Wainwright - Release the Stars
Various - Unbelievable (mostly Madchester Mix CD)
Various - Weekender (a slightly different Madchester Mix CD)

Fatherhood

2007-03-23T13:30:00.000-07:00

So, after 13 days of fatherhood, I can definitely say that I'm an expert on the subject. In a lot of ways, it's just how I expected. But in many ways, I hadn't anticipated how this new addition to our casa would change things.

For example, I knew it was possible that Simon would pee while I was changing his diaper. I didn't expect the pee to get on me, nor did I expect him to pee on me every day, for 3 days in a row. C'est la vie.

I'm constantly amazed at how much that boy can eat. Pretty much every time he's crying, it's because he's hungry. Or at least, that's how it has been for the past 5 days or so. I know that babies' "habits" change almost daily during this time in their life, but still.

We've been calling him The Eaglet, because whenever he's hungry, he purses his lips and pokes his head around, like he's looking for a worm.

Every day, he cracks me up for different reasons. Like extremely loud flatulence, or like yesterday when he had a look of surprise on his face for at least 5 minutes.

Finally, despite all the setbacks of being in the hospital for basically 6 days, I finished my finals and got them all in on time. Now I'm waiting for my grades, and waiting for spring term, which will be my last term of full-time school. Unless, of course, I do something silly like try to get a master's degree. But that wouldn't be for a few years, probably. Anyway, the end of schooling is really appealing.

And now, onward with spring break!

My Boy

2007-03-17T22:37:00.000-07:00

He looks nothing like Winston Churchill, plus he's got ten fingers and ten toes. We're so proud.

I just want to see the boy happy

2007-03-14T11:04:00.000-07:00

Well, the world can finish waiting. The boy is here. Simon Oliver was born on Sunday, March 11th at 1:27pm. He's got a healthy scream & lots of long blond hair. Pics to come, once I find that cable. M and Simon are sleeping now. There's a fairly long story leading up to his birth, which I will post later. Things are good. Lola the dog is handling his arrival well, too.

Six Weird Things

2007-02-27T10:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it took me like a week to notice that I'd been tagged for the latest meme. This one is where you write 6 "weird" things about yourself. What qualifies as "weird" isn't stated, so if you have a beef with what I count as weird, then you can pound sand.

1. I own a Mac and an iPod but am not a Mac snob. My computer runs slower than Heather Mills going uphill, so I've got nothing to be too proud of. The iPod is nice, but they work with PCs now. I've had 2 conversations in the past 2 days with PC users who seem overly defensive of their non-Mac use, but to them I say, "More power to you" and "Fight the Power" and "Semper Fi, brother. Semper Fi".

2. Not that I'm horribly overweight, but I try a different diet every few months, just to lose those few extra pounds. Atkins worked nicely, but was pretty dependent on dead animals. And then during the holidays, blah blah blah.

3. The latest in a string of useless vehicles I've acquired currently uglifies my driveway. The problems with the vehicle are: a) it has a leak in the back hatch thingy, so it's totally mildewy and gross inside, b) the vehicle works perfectly until it randomly shuts down completely and won't restart for several minutes, regardless of the speed it's going when it decides to shut off, and c) the vehicle was a "gift", I spend some money to get it running, and although it's now "mine", I don't have the title to the vehicle and after 4 months of trying to get the title from it's owner, I'm wondering if I ever will. I'm considering my options with this one.

4. Approximately 5 years after the rest of the country already knew about him, I recently "discovered" Chuck Klosterman. He's hilarious, intelligent, self-aware, and seems to have my dream job, i.e. writing in the first person about pop culture. Here's a recent article by him in Esquire.

5. The first step to making a list of weird things is realizing that nothing is weird and nothing is normal. Things just are. If half the population of my city or country does the same thing as me, it's equally likely that half of the population doesn't do things the way I do. Accept it.

6. In the anticipation of waiting for my baby to arrive, almost everything else has become futile. Or at least less meaningful. That is, I could spend an evening watching 10 episodes of The Larry Sanders show (which was brilliant and had a perfect cast), or I could spend my evening mopping the stairs. Either way, I'll just be killing time until my lovely wife goes into labor.

Finally, in a bold move sure to shock the blogging community, I'm not tagging anyone with this meme.

That's it. No baby yet.